Notting Hill Through My Mirror

While watching movies with Vasu and flipping through books, a new blog idea popped into my head—why not review movies instead of books? I rarely rewatch films, except for a precious few in Malayalam, English, Hindi, and Tamil that have stayed with me.

The other day, while rewatching an old favourite, Notting Hill, with a review post in mind, a thought struck me: what if I tweaked the script a little to match the person I am today?

I first watched Notting Hill in 2000, soon after moving to California with my husband and our two little kids. It stayed with me from that very first watch, and I’ve been a fan of Julia Roberts ever since.

But when I watched it again two days ago (for the who-knows-how-many-th time), something had changed. This time, I wanted Anna (Julia Roberts) to choose Anna, instead of waiting for William (Hugh Grant) to choose her.

Maybe it’s my soul’s quiet shift in midlife.
Maybe it’s my growing dislike for that line: “just a girl.”
Maybe it’s the question that won’t go away; why should any woman, at any age, settle for being “just a girl”?

I could go on with a thousand maybes. Whatever the reason, this post was born from one of them.

But before that, on a lighter note, let me take you back to my college years. The scene where Anna Scott walks into William Thacker’s shop always reminds me of something from my younger days. The only difference was that William stayed calm, polite, and charmingly awkward when she entered his shop.

Our neighbour for more than 40 years was the acclaimed cinematographer-turned-director, the late Shaji N. Karun, and his family. Our families were very close, more like extended family.

You’d think actors were regular visitors there, but I remember seeing only one or two. One of them was the legendary Malayalam actor, the late Nedumudi Venu. Once, when Shaji uncle and family weren’t home, he came by to leave something for him. Since no one was in, he walked over to our house instead.

I was around 19 then, a civil engineering student on study leave, supposedly immersed in structural analysis and concrete mix design for upcoming exams. But the moment I saw Nedumudi Venu at our gate, all those formulas flew out of my head, and my brain hit pause on everything else.

I started calling for my mother and sister like we’d just won the lottery! And there he was, smiling kindly, paper cover in hand, speaking gently in that deep, calm voice:

“കുട്ടി, അവർ തിരിച്ച് വരുമ്പോൾ കൊടുക്കണേ.”
(“Please pass this to them when they come back.”)

That moment is etched in my memory, my very own Notting Hill scene, with a Kerala twist.

Now, back to the film. There’s that iconic scene where Anna stands in William’s bookshop, vulnerable, unsure, and open-hearted, and says:

“I’m also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”

I admit that line touched me deeply back in 2000. I was completely on Anna’s side. It felt like the perfect love story, even between a world-famous actress and a shy, awkward bookshop owner. That moment stayed with me for a long time.

But now, with a few more candles on the cake and a few grey hairs, that line hits differently. Why “just a girl”? Why not a woman, with her own choices and voice?

So here’s my version of Anna’s big moment: rewritten, my way.

Anna walks into the bookshop. William is there, surrounded by dusty shelves and emotional confusion. But this time, Anna looks at him, not with pleading eyes, but with calm certainty.

“I’m not ‘just a girl.’ I’m a whole woman now. And I’d rather be me, unapologetically. I’ve spent years playing roles, both the scripted ones and the silent ones life handed me. I’m done squeezing myself into someone else’s idea of love.”

I think it’s still romantic, just with a little more strength, a little more soul, and a love story that begins with herself. Sometimes, choosing yourself is the most powerful love story of all. What do you think?

It’s okay to rewrite your endings. Whether it’s a movie, a memory, or a messy chapter in your life, it’s never too late to change the narrative. You don’t have to stay stuck in a version you once believed was your only option.

Maybe you were once just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love you.
I hope you grow into a woman, standing in front of a mirror and saying, “I choose me.”

If you haven’t watched Notting Hill yet, I recommend doing so. It’s a charming film that still holds its magic! And if you have, maybe watch it again and see if you notice something new, like I did.

Btw, is there a movie you keep going back to? Something that pulls at your heart, makes you laugh, or just feels like a warm hug? Have you ever wished you could rewrite a movie, or a moment from your own life?

Last but not least, I have to admit that somewhere between that charming awkwardness and the floppy hair, I still have a tiny crush on Hugh Grant.
After all, I’m just a girl… in her midlife! 🙂

P.S. If you’re wondering what Anna and William are up to now, read on!

Anna now lives in Paris with her cat, William Shakespeare, in a cozy flat that smells of fresh coffee and old books. Every morning, she sips her coffee by the balcony, gazing out at a tiny orange juice shop—a quiet nod to the chaos she once stepped into.

William still lives in Notting Hill and is now a published author. His book, What We Didn’t Say, is based on their story. (Well… his version of it.)

They still keep in touch, occasionally. But they’re not lovers. Just a well-written chapter that didn’t need a sequel.

P.P.S. Visiting that cute bookshop in Notting Hill and walking down Portobello Road is now officially on my bucket list!❤️